It kicked in...

Well... tonight it happened. It finally kicked in that I'm leaving for school. I've been so excited for months. Tonight was my "last time babysitting" for Paul and Jeanne before I leave. We had a good night. The kids were listening to High School Musical while I made the largest box of mac & cheese I've ever seen (who knew they made 'family size'?). We played outside, ate fudgsicles, put Tyler to bed, did Shrek in the Swamp Karaoke Dance Party, watched Shrek and everything was good. Then I turned into a wreck. I got Ryan to bed totally fine (we couldn't find Buddy, his bear, but a substitute bear was found and all was well). And then came the girls. Our tradition is that they each pick a song, and then I pick a song (my song is always I Am a Child of God). Paige asked if they could each pick two songs, since it was the last time. I was up for it, seemed like a good idea, right? Well, it wasn't a good idea. As I was standing on the ladder singing Paige's song, it totally hit me that I'm leaving in two weeks, and that I won't be able to babysit "my kids" often, and that I won't get to put my girls to bed. Katie's song of choice every time is Joseph Smith's First Prayer. I started crying during this song (don't know if the kids really noticed or not... but I definitely did not make it through the song). Katie chose her second song, luckily I didn't know it all, so it wasn't weird for me to drop out... then it was Paige's second song, The Books of the New Testament. Luckily, Paige & I both got lost in the middle, and we just picked up where we did know it. Bad idea to keep my song to the end. I sang the first line of I Am a Child of God and then just cried the rest of the song.

I came into the kitchen to grab the water bottle for the girls and just let the tears stream down my face. After I wiped them away I took the bottle into the kids, handed it to them and kissed them good night. That was rough.

I still have two weeks with them, and heck, I'm coming back here for dinner tomorrow... but I've loved having them so close and getting to watch Paige, Katie, Ryan & Tyler grow up. I loved our Aunt Marci sleepover when Tyler was born, our day at the park where I couldn't get the stupid rockets to launch, Paige waking me up when we were roomies 7 years ago, spending time with Katie in the preschool and babysitting them! I wish I had really close relationships with my other nieces and nephews, but that would make going to school even harder!

So Paul and Jeanne, thanks for letting your kids be mine, but dang you... why'd they have to be so cute? Now I don't want to leave them!