11.07.2012

Funny Medical Terminology

I've been dying to share this for about four weeks, but kept it to myself til now.

At the lab where my OB sends me for my bloodwork they have a lot of funny things on the wall that you look at while they draw your blood. The first time I went there I was laughing pretty hard, so when I went back on Monday I asked the lady if I could take a picture of one of the signs, and instead she just made me a photocopy. Some of these definitions are funnier than others, but I still thought I'd share them all. I have no idea what their source was, otherwise I'd give them credit.

"Medical Terminology: What Dr's are Really Talking About":

Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan: Searching for kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Coma: A punctuation mark
D&C: Where Washington is
Dilate: To live long
Enema: Not a friend
Fester: Quicker than someone else
Fibula: A small lie
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Outpatient: A person who has fainted
Rectum: Darn near killed him
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport
Tumor: More than one
Urine: Opposite of you're out
Varicose: Nearby, close by
Vein: Conceited

Also, I want the record to show that I am on a 4-day no puking streak; AND the last two mornings when I woke up I didn't feel nauseous. *knock on wood*

6 comments:

Sarah said...

Woo hoo for no puking! Those terms are hilarious. :-D

grandkrumps said...

Great definitions. And hooray for a small adjustment of ratios did it for you, huh? So glad for a few days of keeping it all together!

grandkrumps said...

P.S. Have a great time in the NW!!!

Cara said...

I hope your nausea is gone for good! I wish I could say the same for me but I fear mine is only going to go away after the baby is born. Oh well. :)

Dog-Walker said...

That's a good thing that you survived the Nausea. I survived hazy air when I went back East. Speaking of the East, I made another post about another fun place we went. Would you like to take a look, if you have some time?

Joe and Joanne said...

Those are really funny. Joe and I both had a good laugh. Very creative! :)